Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Be still, my beating vagina.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
