i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
