i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
