Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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