so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
