he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
