Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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