And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
