Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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