We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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