i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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