I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
