ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
