He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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