Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
