Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
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I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
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thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
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