You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
