A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
