I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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