During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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