If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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