Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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