So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
