so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
