I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
When are your genitals available?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
