exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
