Welp...herpes.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
