tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
