I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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