worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
