Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
