found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
