have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
