I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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