his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
