You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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