Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We need to get me chipped asap
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
