his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
