I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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