my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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