Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
