If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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