If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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