Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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