just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
