forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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