Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
this boner is exhausting
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
