I'm gonna have a badass scar
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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