ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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