I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
