I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
