Are we in a gay sports bar?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
