I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
