You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
All I want is dick and wine.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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