Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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