i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
