i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
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i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
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life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight