ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
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I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
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But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky