This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.