I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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