singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
